Henry the Alchemist (Song)
"Henry the Alchemist" is the ninth track of Miss Helen's Weird West Cabaret. Performers Rhys Owen as "Henry" Lyrics HENRY: My town of vulture rock was quiet I was young, my science was My favorite thing, since I was shy And awkward, and cute guys I just Could not talk to I got so confused 'Til Evan came along Alchemy is quite my thing When solubles are transforming And matter unmade reshaping And souls themselves transmutating I dream of potions of evolution To lead mankind along The hellmouth just appeared one day A rift in time a tear in space And monsters from a hellish place Came out to eat and kill and chase And doom arrived We prepared to die 'Til an idea crossed my mind A potion I had never made Too dangerous, but thought could change A man in strange, divergent ways Our last hope of salvation lay With death coming I made some And I drank it down that day HENRY: (spoken) I don't understand, nothing happened. EVAN: (spoken) Well, at least you tried. It's all right. If this is the end, maybe... maybe we should... you know. Just one last time... HENRY: (spoken) Yes, I'd like that. Mmmm, that feels good... EVAN: (spoken) Well you're certainly getting aroused... oh! Dear god... Henry, what's happening to you? HENRY: (spoken) I... I feel like something inside is coming out... (growls) I'm the wild man The party's always where I am I'm the scream hurled by that drunk girl When midnight I'm the sodomite Who makes everything all right I'm the mad howl of you night out HENRY: (spoken) Where am I? COOT: (spoken) You're in Rattlesnake Springs, up above the Whiskeybath Saloon. HENRY: (spoken) But that's 70 miles awa.. wait, why are all these naked men passed out all over the place? COOT: (spoken) Oh, you missed quite a shindig last night. It was all willies and alcohol around here. HENERY: My alter ego Hurl, indeed Could kill the foul invading beasts But he was wild and wasn't me He drank and screwed and fought and screamed A wild id Who I hated At war with my own self After he'd fought the beasts attacks He wouldn't want to calm, change back He'd go on benders that would last for days Of drinking, sex and laughs He gorged in bed With scores of men For miles and miles around The thing that makes me change to him Arousal, an erection, when Desire rises, springs within The transformation happens and I cave, change, and he Raves and shames me and I cannot keep him down And so I try to keep somehow Him from ever coming out I drink elixirs to renounce And keep my strange libido down I vow now I must live without Becoming ever more aroused TOWNSPEOPLE: (spoken) Henry! A new monster has come through and is attacking the town! We need Hurl! You got to get it up! He cant get it up? But if he doesn't change we'll all die! Listen up everyone, we've all got to pitch in to give Henry an erection! Get it up, Henry, get it up! Get the men's rowing club over here! Get your clothes off and start showering! Spank each other playfully! You, cowboys... oh lordy jesus, you don't need no instructions.. Git the college kid over here. Right, give me the shy freshman bit... good, okay, pretend you've never seen one before... you're so curious... you just have to reach and out and... oh, i think it's working... come one Henry, rise and shine, boy! HENRY: I'm the wild man The party's always where I am I'm the scream hurled by that drunk girl When midnight I'm the sodomite Who makes everything all right I'm the mad howl of you night out I'm the craving and the action I'm the strive for satisfaction I'm the will to live, the passion That will make you dance and scream I'm the hunger, thirst for more That keeps the species moving forward I'm the blood lust and the gorge That survival itself needs I'm the fire in the stove Of evolution, don't you know The species clawing upwards goes Because I'm there to scream and poke When death is at your feet I'm the beast you better feed My greed exceeding to extremes Is the rebel scream you need I'm the wild man The party's always where I am I'm the scream hurled by that drunk girl When midnight I'm the sodomite Who makes everything all right I'm the mad howl of you night out Evan, who I loved He broke my heart when he broke up For Hurl filled him with disgust And we couldn't ever touch For if we held I might arise And change there before his eyes and hurl would mock him and he'd cry And so he left me one long night The town looked at me strange A mix of fear and awe and shame for Hurl's wanton and lewd ways I felt their constant furtive gaze Locked inside my house I'd stay There cowering and id hide While Hurl rattled deep inside The carnal cages of my mind A two-week bender gone astray I woke up in a strange new place Here in Lost Hallow where I stayed And keep my urges pressed away I work my alchemy in a dank basement 'neath the street Where somewhere deep inside he sings And waits 'til next he's free